The Northern California Fly Fishing Board

Our last little expose regarding this particular subject was extremely beneficial. Several sheeople exhibited the pain associated with coming out of denial, and several wolves in sheeople's clothing revealed themselves to be amidst the flock. It only seems natural that we continue this excellent discussion.

Flourocarbon: The revisionists for fluorocarbon would have you believe that this overpriced, enviro-hazard on a spool, is the "magic bullet" that's gonna help you catch more fish. "It's nearly invisible! Fish can't see it!" They say. "It's got a better density and helps you get deeper faster!" They say. This is of course some of the most self-delusional horsecrap ever imagined. Let’s examine each of these fake points in greater detail:

1 - "Fish can't see flourocarbon!" It is true that this particular enviro-hazard does indeed have a lower refractive index than does mono. To claim that fish can't see it is absurd. Of course fish can see this stuff. Fish have visual acuity that is at least as sharp as humans. I can see this stuff and to assume that fish can't , just because the makers of flouro say they can't is to take an epic leap of blind, and totally misguided faith. Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster are both very real and Elvis and Bruce Lee are both still alive as wel..... Fish are really stupid animals. Apparently flyanglers are even dumber, since sales on this enviro-hazard are through the roof.... If you can pull the respective instinctive triggers, the fish is simply going to disregard everything that may be wrong with the presentation. I suppose we're also to assume that the big, bent, hunk of metal coming out of the butt end of the fly, somehow also becomes less visable when the eye of said fly is tied to flouro? Uh…huh…… my butt..

2 - "It's got a better density and helps you get deeper faster!" The Shepherd has conducted extensive testing, and this crap sinks at about the same rate as mono, when 2-4 bb's are attached which seems to be about the average utilized by most baitfisherman in denial, here in the People's Republic...

Bottomline on Flurocarbon: It sucks, is way too expensive, and WILL NOT help the inept catch more fish!

5- Alaska: The revisionists for Alaska would have you believe that Alaska is the last Bastion of unspoiled wilderness left in United Socialist States of North America. The proverbial “Last Frontier”. Uh..huh. “The fishing in Alaska is like nothing you’ve ever experienced!” They say. “You’ve never been bit like you get bit in Alaska!” They say! “I Love the Land of the Midnight Sun!” They say. What a bunch of noxious, mindnumbingly stupid, total bullcrap!

Let’s examine each one of these bogus claims in greater detail:

A- “The fishing in Alaska is like nothing you’ve ever experienced!”: The Shepherd must admit that this is indeed a true statement, but not in a manner the revisionists would have you believe. Alaska features a myriad of flat, featureless, boring as hell to fish, tundra rivers that host abundant runs of various species of anadramous fish. This results in easy to fish rivers that are literally paved with fish, that even the most inept casters can exploit. What this really leads to is massive fish snagging opportunities for even the most inept lineslappers. 99.8 percent of the fish “hooked” by the “I Love Alaska” crowd are simply snagged in those featureless tundra rivers, where the fish have nary a single rock to hide behind, while on their upstream migration amidst a literal armada of barbed lines in the water. The revisionists like to attempt to deny this fact. “Oh, but I hooked him in the mouth!” They say. “He took it in the mouth because he went after the fly”! They say. This notion reeks of bullcrap! 99 percent of the fish snagged in Alaska are snagged in the mouth simply because fish swim and face upstream into the current, mouthfirst! If those slimy things could figure out a way to swim backwards and hold station in current butt-first, 99 percent of all fish hooked by the “I Love Alaska!” crowd would be dorsal hooked. Of course the delusional, non-casting, revisionistic fruitcakes who visit Alaska would not have an issue giving it to the majority of the fish they hook, in the butt. The real reason most lineslappers love Alaska is it’s the only place on the face of the planet that they’re aware of where the unskilled can hook (I.e. snag) anadramous fish hand over fist! Learn to cast and actually fool fish and you’ll find Alaska is a boring as hell, place to wet a line!

B- “You’ve never been bit like you get bit in Alaska!”: The Shepherd must also allow that this is indeed a true statement as well, but again not in the way the revisionists would lead one to believe. The fact is, virtually every portion of the Alaskan landscape is attempting to eat your butt, while astream on Alaskan watersheds. This ranges from 2000 pound Kodiak bears, to chiggers bigger than the bobbers used by Brucie while he’s “Flyfishing with vertical Jigs”. (Tying a “bruceacator” around your neck literally insures you’ll never drown. ) If the bears and the chiggers don’t get to you, one still has to contend with mosquitos the size of sparrows, and of course, the tiny little “No See ‘ems” that flock to anglers by the quadrillions. There is no argument, that one is going to get bitten harder than ever before while in Alaska………. The fish ain’t doing none of the biting since all of them get snagged…….

C- “I Love the Land of the Midnight Sun!”: It is the contention of the Shepherd that those that love Alaska, do so simply because it’s the only place someone really inept with the rod can actually expect to catch (i.e. snag) anadramous fish hand over fist! Only because of the fact that these inept idiots feel like modern day “Ernest Hemmingways” fishing in Alaska while risking life and limb with the bears, and getting eaten alive by the bugs do they claim to love this primitive, crapty state. Here’s a clue to those sheeople here that are part of the “I Love the Land of the Midnight Sun!” crowd: Visit the proverbial “Land of the Midnight Sun” in February when it reveals what it truly is…“The Land of the Midday Darkness! See how much you love it then. At least then the bears that had you so friggin’ paranoid, that your dumbbutt went and bought a handcannon that you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with (because you’re likely as inept with handguns as you are with flyrods) will all be hibernating and all the bugs will be dead with average daytime highs hovering around -30 degrees……

Bottomline on Alaska: Alaska is the Land of the Midnight Fraud and totally sucks.

And don't forget about "hooks." Like those things actually help you catch fish! It is all part of the liberal hook elite!

I must say, your dedication to trolling is really amazing. Just the hours spent typing is of note.

Happy hunting.

B-

You'll get no argument from me on the flouro debate, Herr Keeper of the Light.
I remember that I used to catch fish prior to flouro, and can't say that my
number went off the charts when I have used flouro. And I recall that flouro
biodegrates much slower than mono.

Regarding Alaska. Neva' been there, but I'm pretty sure I'd go to BC before
Alaska.

Anglernut

I wish I could afford to go to Alaska too.


TD

Hey Anglernut, I'll endorse floro... I like it because it's much stronger than mono. I fish mostly 3x which is just so strong it is a bit silly... but it means I don't break off fish. It just doesn't happen. I like knowing I can really put the stick to a fish and get it in quickly so I can get it released quickly. Does it catch me more fish? Dunno... I caught a lot on mono and I catch a lot on floro, depending on the river. I do know that I can land those fish faster, and that's something I value.

B-

Hi Bjorn,

Oh I KNOW you lay the wood (so to speak ) to the fish. I remember you
posted a video on the McCloud I believe, and you certainly weren't trying to
protect your tippet! Lol. Nice bend you put in your rod man.

Ya, I can't say that I catch more fish with flouro...i have a little bit, but
most of my stuff is mono- 2x and 3x for steelies on the American, 4x and 5x for
the Pit. I did buy a 100 meter spool of 4x flouro a few years ago, so I'll use
that until its gone, but it's gonna be a while.

There was a really good laboratory test done in one of the fish mags several
years ago. They guy tested many different types, brittleness etc. It was
pretty interesting.

Eric

PS: I notice you've been finding a decent amount of time to fish the upper Sac
and other places...even with a child. Clap clap clap. Good job! I used to
take my son to the American and let him play in the shallows with a big ass
life vest on while I casted from several yards away. You make do with what
ya got!

Nice freshie! Trinity?

Well, I got out here recently, but before that it had been a while. I had my big event on Oct. 24 and took some time off afterwards to go fish. Wanted to fish the Mac before it closed, but the reports didn't turn out well. I do plan on getting some stream time in here soon though... have lots of vacation time, much more than my wife at this point, so it should go to fishing.

My planned bonefishing trip got nixed with property taxes, so I'm thinking more local.

B-

Bonefishing? That would be a hoot. I would like to go
fish for baby tarpon down in the Yucatan. My wife was there
this summer with her sister vacationing. I wanted to go but
burned up all my vacation in Germany freezing my arse off this
past December.

I told my wife...."no cold vacations for a looooong time."
Next one is gonna be tropical with my fly rod.

Where "were" you going to target bones?

Oh ya, the McCloud...man they screwed with those flows ALL summer long!
I've actually never fished it- always end up at the Pit and staying
in some quasi-dive motel in Burney with tequila & lime to numb my
banged up body.

Eric

No, that's an Alaskan fish. Silver from Deep Creek. Probably 200 yards from the salt.

I love the McCloud... love it. Didn't get to fish it this year and didn't get to fish it last year. That part is killing me. However, I have new water around me that doesn't take hours to get to... so I'm in the plus column when the final math is added up.

I WAS going to try and head to the Bahamas. Found some not too expenisve places, including a guide that would have dropped me off on a little island by myself and come back for me a few days later. That appealed, although I doubt I have enough camping gear to actually survive those kinds of conditions. Read a story a couple of editions back in www.thisisfly.com that sounded pretty good (except the waterspout and bugs). The killer is the airfare. Seems everything is $700-$900 to get where you want to go and that kind of killed it. Cheapest actual lodging was $150 a night and I was trying to do the whole trip for under $1,000, which just was not possible when all was said and done.

I had originally thought of going to Florida, down the Keys, flying into Maimi, renting a car, camping and splitting everything with some other anglers... but when I read more about bones in FL it was all very discouraging. I have no idea if this is true or not, but folks were saying that the fish are big, but kind of like in HI, they are often solitary and you need to know the spot they are going to be in... can't just go out by yourself and expect to run into fish. The Bahamas sounds like you can expect to find fish, even as a novice and even unguided.

There are a few other options I looked at...
- Mexico, down south of Cancun was one, but I don't speak Spanish (and French doesn't help)
- Going back to Kauai, but the fishing is similar, it sounds, to FL, in that the fish are massive, but difficult to find, solitary and spooky. No schoolies. I fished in Kauai back in the Spring. I didn't even HOOK a bonefish, but just seeing them and casting to them kind of got the image/feeling/desire stuck in my head. That's what started this whole thing.

So, I'm left with the gear... got a new 9 wt reel for big pigs, in addition to my 7's... have a bunch of flies from my Kauia trip, have nice flats boots (although the guide we used in Kauai wore Crocs)... just need the right trip to line up with the right windfall of unassigned money. Darn you property taxes!

Oh well... I'll keep looking for the right opportunity... probably won't be until 2010 though, at the earliest.

B-