|
|
|
The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
Until the week before last, I had the utmost respect for The Shepherd. The Keeper of the Light was obviously a Renaissance super human. Falling for his self-created mythology, I had bowed at the altar of The Keeper many times. Little did I know that I should have, instead, boweled at the altar.
I’d always assumed that “Keeper of the Light” was a metaphor for enlightenment. Upon fishing with The Shepherd, I discovered the source of his light. It is a physical light. The Keeper has harnessed the power of the sun with…A SPINNER BLADE!
No lie, His Unholiness whipped out an heretical contraption consisting of a fly trailing behind a revolving disc of shiny metal, which he heaved into the next zip code. This was not a “Pistol Pete”, which one could lamely consider a fly when talking to a witless spin caster. No, this abomination belonged on a rod meant for bait. Abandoning all that is sacred, he did manage to fool a hapless salmonid with this barbaric lure, but in the process the eyes of this apostle were made wide open. I was shamed for having been a sheeople…and this heretic dares to malign my exaggerated beadhead flies! Hypocrite!!
Sir, you are an infidel and blasphemer of the highest magnitude, and having caught only 5 half pounders in one week, I want my money back! I don’t care IF the water temps were 72 degrees.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Last Edit: 2009/09/27 22:16 By Arizona Bruce.
Reason: better read & accuracy
|
|
|
A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
No...say it ain't so!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Rivers course through my dreams, rivers cold and fast, rivers well-known and rivers nameless, rivers that seem like ribbons of blue water twisting through wide valleys, narrow rivers folded in layers of darkening shadow, rivers that have eroded down deep in a mountain's belly, sculpted the land, peeled back the planet's history exposing the texture of time itself."
— Harry Middleton (Rivers of Memory)
"Each night as I haul myself onto the back of county garbage truck no. 2, there is a familiar wind, some thread of moonglow or starlight, a splatter of dark rain on my skin, something that stirs my memory, and again, if even for a brief moment, I am on some mountain river, some stretch of bright water, full of possibilities, including the possibility of trout, perhaps one that, when hooked, will haul me in and out of time, in and out of life's mysterious and frightening, wondrous and incomprehensible continuum, even to the edges of the universe." -- Harry Middleton
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
Damn these eyes for having witnessed such vulgarity, but I DID see the deed and it WAS before my morning imbibing began. My faith is shaken. Could a loving God really have permitted this?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
Baaaarucie,
That was not a "fly trailing behind a revolving disk of shiny metal" as you so eloquently put it. That was a full on, bass buster type spinnerbait. It is important to note that the Shepherd was still able to pitch that puppy well into the next zip code with his 6wt and a full floating flyline! Without adding a haul mind you! Next time the Living Legend hits the river, the Shepherd will be bringing an Arbogast Jitterbug (a gianormous one to boot!) to see if he can pitch that huge bass bug 100+ feet on a flyrod and to see if he can fool a steelhead into grabbing that outta the surface film! The answers to those two questions are of course, Yes and Yes!
Also do not confuse the Shepherd's tying on a spinnerbait to your denialism of pitching jigs, rapalas, sardine wrapped flatfish and nightcrawlers ALL DAY LONG and calling that flyfishing! What the Shepherd did was not flyfishing, and the sole reason that the Shepherd tied on that spinnerbait that he found was because he was pondering the question: Can the Shepherd generate enough line velocity to pitch a gianormous bass lure farther than Baaaaaarucie's inept ass can throw an unweighted fly on a floating line?
The answer to that question was of course, not only "Yes!", but "Yes, by about 55 feet!"
The Shepherd kept that puppy on for a total of 11 casts, enough time for Senor Shepherd to catch one fish, since the fishing was dead slow. This was simply an experiment to see how inept you are (you've refined inepptitude to a science!) and how legendary the Shepherd is by catching a steelhead on a buzzbait in less than a dozen casts!
The Shepherd
Ps- Also you can't have your money back as there was no "Money Back Bjorranty" offered on this trip!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
REVISIONIST! Yes, you certainly can outcast my sorry ass and you also landed twice the number of fish that I did. Not being a revisionist myself, I readily admit that. HOWEVER, I couldn't help but notice that I had already pulled 2 fish out of that run to your zero and you were willing to try ANYTHING to get one on the board. That was no scientific experiment, although you could argue that as a veiled excuse.
No Senorita Shepherd of the missing nads, that was nothing short of a desperate attempt to hook, something by ANY means possible.
You were my mentor. Is it any wonder that I may stoop to using exaggerated beadhead flies from time to time...which I did not at all touch on said fishing expedition.
The light you keep has diminished to a 5 watt bulb.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
Phil (Admin)
Admin
Posts: 1029
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
Hmmmmmm. Jigs, non-fly experimentation. I agree with Bruce's conclusions......truly shaken to the core. What would a true steelhead fisherman like Willy have to say about this?
Sarge, is this legal?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am haunted by waters.
Norman MacLean
A River Runs Through It
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Hey Shep 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
So what does ear taste like anyway?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Rivers course through my dreams, rivers cold and fast, rivers well-known and rivers nameless, rivers that seem like ribbons of blue water twisting through wide valleys, narrow rivers folded in layers of darkening shadow, rivers that have eroded down deep in a mountain's belly, sculpted the land, peeled back the planet's history exposing the texture of time itself."
— Harry Middleton (Rivers of Memory)
"Each night as I haul myself onto the back of county garbage truck no. 2, there is a familiar wind, some thread of moonglow or starlight, a splatter of dark rain on my skin, something that stirs my memory, and again, if even for a brief moment, I am on some mountain river, some stretch of bright water, full of possibilities, including the possibility of trout, perhaps one that, when hooked, will haul me in and out of time, in and out of life's mysterious and frightening, wondrous and incomprehensible continuum, even to the edges of the universe." -- Harry Middleton
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
Shawn (User)
Expert Poster
Posts: 126
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
The story of the pot and the kettle comes to mind........
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A true trout bum is one who has commitments and responsibilities but won't give in. He doesn't run away to escape them, he just ignores them and goes fishing.......
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
Shawn wrote:
The story of the pot and the kettle comes to mind........
Now,now Bug...I do bobber fish with a fly rod from time to time - never denied doing so. Although I prefer to fish a bamboo rod, I'm no elitist by any means, not that there's anything wrong with that...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Rivers course through my dreams, rivers cold and fast, rivers well-known and rivers nameless, rivers that seem like ribbons of blue water twisting through wide valleys, narrow rivers folded in layers of darkening shadow, rivers that have eroded down deep in a mountain's belly, sculpted the land, peeled back the planet's history exposing the texture of time itself."
— Harry Middleton (Rivers of Memory)
"Each night as I haul myself onto the back of county garbage truck no. 2, there is a familiar wind, some thread of moonglow or starlight, a splatter of dark rain on my skin, something that stirs my memory, and again, if even for a brief moment, I am on some mountain river, some stretch of bright water, full of possibilities, including the possibility of trout, perhaps one that, when hooked, will haul me in and out of time, in and out of life's mysterious and frightening, wondrous and incomprehensible continuum, even to the edges of the universe." -- Harry Middleton
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
"I was shamed for having been a sheeople…and this heretic dares to malign my exaggerated beadhead flies!"
It's not as though I was hiding what I do, but I've taken a lot of ribbing from Shep about it...or is Shep the "pot"?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
Shawn (User)
Expert Poster
Posts: 126
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
|
Arizona Bruce wrote:
"I was shamed for having been a sheeople…and this heretic dares to malign my exaggerated beadhead flies!"
It's not as though I was hiding what I do, but I've taken a lot of ribbing from Shep about it...or is Shep the "pot"?
Exaggerated beadhead flies? You mean jigs don't you? Fishing lures under a bobber on a flyrod and calling it flyfishing is definately an attempt to hide what you are doing. Not hiding what you do would be doing it with the proper equipment. Was the Shepard fishing this spinnerbait on a flyrod? I'm guessing no. At least he was fishing with integrity. What you do is an abomination of two different types of fishing. You're doing both half assed and I've heard it's a real abortion. You lack integrity Bruce. That makes you the pot.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Last Edit: 2009/10/02 13:54 By Shawn.
|
|
|
A true trout bum is one who has commitments and responsibilities but won't give in. He doesn't run away to escape them, he just ignores them and goes fishing.......
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
|
|
Re:The Shepherd, EXPOSED! 15 Years, 11 Months ago
|
|
Shawn,
Really, don't hold back. Tell me how you really feel. I can take it! 
Good flame. However, just in case you're serious...
I have fun, I catch fish. I get to play them on a fly rod. I poke fun at my jigs, calling them exaggerated beadheaded flies (If I filed off a little bit, they WOULD be beadheaded flies. It's a matter of about 1/10 oz.)
I cast them just like flies.
Of course, The Shepherd was using a fly rod. That was the fun in my post. That man, and I believe myself,too, has a ton of integrity.
Shawn, it's just fishing. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
A steelhead fly fisherman needs two qualities:
A strong casting arm and a room temperature IQ.
--Thomas McGuane--
|
|
|
The administrator has disabled public write access.
|
|
Favoured: 0
