The Northern California Fly Fishing Board

Until the week before last, I had the utmost respect for The Shepherd. The Keeper of the Light was obviously a Renaissance super human. Falling for his self-created mythology, I had bowed at the altar of The Keeper many times. Little did I know that I should have, instead, boweled at the altar.

I’d always assumed that “Keeper of the Light” was a metaphor for enlightenment. Upon fishing with The Shepherd, I discovered the source of his light. It is a physical light. The Keeper has harnessed the power of the sun with…A SPINNER BLADE!

No lie, His Unholiness whipped out an heretical contraption consisting of a fly trailing behind a revolving disc of shiny metal, which he heaved into the next zip code. This was not a “Pistol Pete”, which one could lamely consider a fly when talking to a witless spin caster. No, this abomination belonged on a rod meant for bait. Abandoning all that is sacred, he did manage to fool a hapless salmonid with this barbaric lure, but in the process the eyes of this apostle were made wide open. I was shamed for having been a sheeople…and this heretic dares to malign my exaggerated beadhead flies! Hypocrite!!

Sir, you are an infidel and blasphemer of the highest magnitude, and having caught only 5 half pounders in one week, I want my money back! I don’t care IF the water temps were 72 degrees.